"When life is in turmoil and you're not sure what's happening next, how do you know what steps to take - both in business and life"?
This great question came to me recently from one of my Living Journal™ subscribers - who has every reason to ask it!
She has a young and recently expanded family, she's just moved to the other side of the world - and she's running her fitness business whilst juggling ALL the things.
First of all, hats off - she's pursuing her dreams and not letting life do the deciding for her.
It's SO easy to get sidetracked when things don't fit into neat little boxes and life feels full of unknowns.
And even with our most resilient head on, all the positivity and determination in the world can still leave us floundering and wondering which way is up when big changes happen in life and uncertainty prevails.
Even for those of us not jumping on a plane with little ones in tow, the last few years have surely shown us that nothing is stable, predictable or guaranteed.
In some ways we’ve become used to not knowing which way is up - and we’ve had a BIG lesson in best laid plans being derailed by unforeseen spanners in the works (thanks to Covid, wars, economic uncertainty and a looming environmental crisis).
Look back over most periods of history, though, and you soon begin to realise that, actually - the quiet, settled times are few and far between.
Change is NORMAL.
Uncertainty is par for the course.
And it’s the people who know how to ride out change and STILL make things happen who tend to prosper and fulfil their dreams.
People who don’t let a little thing like completely changing their lifestyle or jumping in with both feet throw them off track!
People like you and I.
So how do you stay on track amid uncertainty?
I’m so glad you asked!
Release the need to know
Most of our anxiety around getting things right is driven by a need for control; a need to know that things will work out. But we can’t control the future - no-one can.
And we can either choose to spend all our time and energy focusing on trying to control the impossible and predict what will happen - or we can accept that the future will take care of itself if we bring our energy and attention back to the things we can control NOW.
After all, now is the only moment that ever really matters, right? And there will always be reasons to ask ‘What if…’ if we allow ourselves to look hard enough for them. But by letting that go, we become infinitely more empowered to take action that really makes a difference in the moment.
Ok, so we’ve established that presence is powerful and necessary - whatever’s going on in life.
But how do you know what decisions will be the best for your future? How do you decide what to do IN the moment to make the most OF the moment?
2. Give yourself a break!
The simple answer is that you can never be sure of making the ‘right’ decision.
Doubt is just a little mind-game our ego likes to play, to fool us into staying stuck and making NO decision at all.
It’s fuelled by that need for control - and by the societal narratives we’ve been raised with around success and failure, good and bad, right and wrong.
The truth is, ALL decisions lead some in way towards your goals.
Sometimes those decisions may FEEL like they’ve thrown you massively off course, or set you back in some way. And in physical terms that may be true, to some extent.
But even in a 'waaaay off course, massively wrong, need to make a U-turn' worst case scenario - there is progress to be found. Because by making those wrong turns, we get closer to understanding what IS right for us and our future.
I can’t tell you how many ‘wrong’ things I played with in my business before I found the ‘right’ ones! But the whole time I was taking action - action I’m grateful for because it helped me refine what WAS right for me.
Repeat after me:
It’s ok to get it wrong
I can always course-correct
I can trust my heart to know what’s best for me
Let the thrill be in the journey. Let it be ok to explore, to try things on and see what works. Let the ride be fun.
Who knows what you might discover?
3. Trusting your heart
There’s a popular misconception that we make decisions purely from our heart, or from our head.
This isn’t how it actually works in practice.
Yes, there are emotional decisions and logical, rational decisions. But magic happens when the two come together.
Heart and head are NOT opposites. They’re not at war.
They are close friends - if not one and the same.
When your head is speaking the TRUTH, that is.
The trouble is that the fear-driven voice of scarcity, struggle and insecurity - driven by our imposter, ego self, likes to step in and impersonate our logical mind. THAT’s when confusion arises. That’s when we find ourselves going round in circles, trying to rationalise problems that simply aren’t solvable on a logical level.
So how do you know what’s really coming from your rational, heart-led brain and what’s imposter-led thinking?
Well, the imposter NEVER feels joyful, free, excited or expansive.
It always feels limited and limiting.
It’s the voice of worst-case scenarios, nightmares and things that might go wrong. And it’s there to squash you - not to serve your success.
So be brave, listen to your heart - lean in to what excites and energises you. And enjoy watching what unfolds!
4. Anchor in for the long-term
There’s a wonderful way we can continually DRIVE our daily decisions and actions in a more heart-led, soul-aligned way, even when what we want seems a million miles away from achievable in our present reality.
And that’s by checking in on a deep, emotional level with the long-term desires we have for our life, in all 5 key areas (you can find those and deep dive long-term, soul-aligned goal setting in my Glorious Goals course, which you can pick up here at a special discounted rate!).
Creating an emotionally-connected long-term vision is hugely powerful, because it acts as a silent compass to our subconscious brain.
When we chalk up what we actually WANT from life, regardless of what’s happening in our present reality, the manifestational, co-creational parts of our brain hold on to that vision. And they’re still working on it, long after we’ve consciously started thinking about what’s for dinner instead!
This is why synchronicities start to appear and plans randomly start to fall in to place - against all the odds. Our job is just to jump on the bus as it goes by, hitch a lift and end up at the right destination!
So keep that long-term vision in mind and keep coming back to it, regardless of what else is going on.
Keep asking yourself what you truly want.
Keep taking opportunities and asking yourself whether they really align with (or maybe even enhance!) that vision.
And remember, everything is possible.
5. Have FUN, at all times - and stay flexible
We humans have a fascinating talent for turning the joyful into the stressful! I know, so many times in my life I’ve been doing something AMAZING and yet I’ve killed the joy by making it feel like work, or a problem to be solved, or a thing to be perfected.
Yet all that stressing has NEVER led to the thing being better, or more enjoyable, or more of a success than it otherwise might have been. What it HAS led to is:
Overcomplicating
Doing too much
Sleepless nights
Losing the balance
Me being frustrated, irritable, anxious and stressy
Things feeling harder and heavier
My relationships sliding
My enjoyment of the thing being way less than it could have been
If you’re juggling all the things AND making massive changes - as my lovely Living Journal™ subscriber clearly is! - it can be so easy to get sucked in to problem solving mode and feel like you have to:
a) get it all right, and
b) have all the answers right now.
The thing is, when we’re in that heavy, overthink-y energy and headspace - the good stuff can’t find its way in. We’re closed off to all the answers we’re seeking - because we’re not allowing room for them to find their way and flourish.
We’re not in flow.
Yes - there’s absolutely a place for planning and trying to structure your daily actions to align with your long-term goals (we do that in Glorious Goals too!).
But the planning should feel exciting and uplifting, rather than soul-sucking and restrictive.
So make your plans. Figure out how you can fit them in to your life easily and without causing yourself overload - one or two plans executed well are WAY better than a whole heap of plans you can’t really handle!
Keep coming back to what’s working and what isn’t - and allow flexibility to sit in the back of your mind all the time, like a trusty advisor.
I love the idea of your plans being bouncy, like a trampoline… you can land in them and trust you’ll be held, but you can also allow yourself to spring high in the air and get a new perspective that looks even better!
As we said right back at the beginning, pretty much the only thing that’s certain is uncertainty - so it pays to be flexible, however ordered and stable (or not) your life currently is.
If we’re TOO rigid and prescriptive, we can end up missing the amazing opportunities that might come our way - and that’s the one thing that WILL leave you kicking yourself, for sure!
So allow yourself to relax, let go of the reins a little… and let the road take you where it will.
Want daily mindset support to create and achieve that long-term vision?
Join us in the Living Journal now, for just £15!